It's always a journey to take a stroll in darling harbour starting from the Entertainment Centre. The atmosphere is buzzing and everyone everywhere is off doing something. You're off somewhere too in your own little world.

You walk by the old water fountain that you remember so fondly as a child. You remember when you hurt yourself playing in it but having no one there to help you back up. You're left there, in the cold, wet and lonely. You cry but you wipe the tears away saying I don't need anyone.

As you walk past the Exhibition Centre you remember what it felt like to put up a front for yourself and your family. It never mattered how chaotic everything seems from the inside as long as it looked good on the outside. You look at the couples and friends or even family walking past you and you laugh to yourself and think, "I wonder how people can live such lies".

You reach the water features and you suddenly feel serene. Kids are playing and laughing. All you can think about is what it felt like to have such purity. You ask yourself "why don't I ever remember feeling like this when I was a child?". You see a kid fall in the water and his mother started scolding him. Why must the mother be so bad? The child just wanted to have fun.

Viewing the old Sega world from a distance you suddenly remember it was still around when you were doing your Higher School Certificate. You start to wonder where you life had gone. You've been working and studying all your life and it never seemed like you got to rest. The endless nights building and packing computers. Lifting boxes and crates into the warehouse. All for the sake of family, because you thought by proving yourself you would earn respect. No. Like Sega World is was all for nothing, destroyed.

Walking through the field you remember that period in your life where you felt your life is heading nowhere. There's a few people here and there but no one you could hold on to. Your feet drag on the patches of grass, you just want to lay down and rest and never wake up again. You're in the centre of nothingness, yet, the nothingness is inside of everything. All you can do is look around at all the great things happening around you. You start to walk out of the field, in hopes that one day you'd get there.

As you stop by the playground you smile to yourself. You remember the cold nights here with that special someone. You cared for her. You promised to love her for as long as you lived. You remember the talks and plans about marriage and kids. You remember the fun and crazy times you had together. For that moment you thought that this is what life should be like, for a moment you thought you could actually finally move on from the past. And, for a moment you actually thought you are worth something.

Those thoughts turn to disgust when you reach Starbucks. For the very place reeks of betrayal. You glance towards the toilets and you realise all that you had wished for had been flushed down the toilet. The girl you loved degraded herself down to that level. She was like coffee at the time, all you can remember is the sweet scent but the more you have it the more bitter you remember it to be. You remember the days where life had no meaning left. But I guess you hung around to see the big picture. You want to see your own ending, you want to see through to things. Session times at IMAX suddenly makes you smirk, seems like even in life the same movie can run for more than once.

You stop to sit by your favourite spot looking out to the water. It's beautiful, it's calming. You think the longer you stay the sooner you'll find your answer. Perhaps one day your life would be as beautiful as this. You take a closer look and see the water littered and polluted. You realise that life was never the way you had imagined. Life had always been cruel to you. You weren't looking at the full picture. You had a beautiful life and that there's more to come. What you had to go through has made you into the person you are today and you wouldn't take anything back to change yourself.

You take your art diary out and start to draw. You drew faces that walk by and you ponder if they're going through the same thing as you. Couples walk by and you smile thinking back to the girls you had in the past and the moments you shared with them. A family walks by and you smile, at least some people will experience a proper family. Groups of friends walk past and you feel lucky you had great friends to lean on. You never did tell them what really went on during those dark times but you are glad they were there for the sake of being there.

You take your headphones out and start listening to music and silently singing along not disturbing anyone else. A guy comes up and starts talking to you about art. You start talking to him about all the things in the world and the next second you are talking to him about life over a cup of coffee from starbucks. You feel a strange affinity with strangers, there's nothing ever sacred, they can't judge you and you don't judge them. We all come from different walks of life and we all act a certain because of the way we walked that path. As you finish your cigarette you farewell the new found friend.

You go back to your drawings and drew that friendly guy you just had a chat with and start to sing again. It's getting cold so you put on your jacket. A girl sits next to you staring out to the water. She looks towards you and you exchange a polite smile. You can't help but sing and she notices. You knew you did nothing wrong but you had to say sorry. Somehow a simple apology stretched over to another hour long conversation about all the different things in the world.

You wrap her up with your jacket because you couldn't stand to see her rubbing her arms from the cold. You don't know why you fall in love with people so easily. You remind yourself of how horrible you are and you make yourself believe because of that nothing good will ever happen to you. You think to yourself perhaps it's because you lacked approval as a child that all you do now is to seek it. You also lacked affection so you try to be affectionate to everyone. You start to laugh as the thought was just stupid and that you are probably insane to be thinking about such matters when a cute girl is next to you.

You shrug it off and start saying farewell to the girl. You insisted she keep the jacket since you didn't care what happens to yourself. You're surprised when she leans in closer and wraps her arms around you. You're surprised as you didn't remotely think anyone would be attracted to you right now. But then you remember that you are so aloof and detached from the world to notice these things. You return that hug back and say sorry. You know that you need to find yourself before you want to commit to anyone else again. Before you know it your lips connected, you weren't quite sure who took initiative but suddenly you drop all your thoughts and enjoy the kiss.

You walk off. You know you shouldn't do this. Something inside of you want to pursue something but you're too afraid that it's the part of you that wants affection and approval speaking out for you. Just as fast as you crash landed back on planet Earth your mind went racing straight back to outer space. You leave it to fate. Perhaps you'll get to see her again one day and even learn her name. Perhaps she'll go for someone who's actually interested to her. You don't know. All you know is that you thought you were out of her league and probably will be now.

One day I will find the answer to everything. Til then I will keep floating and keep searching. It's what drives me and I'm not willing to come back home yet.