So we had a catchup class today... at night... til nine. Was fun and all but god damn I didn't get home til 12:30, buses these days are so unreliable. We had our film class tonight and it was fun!

In a way I'm happy and sad at the same time that I'll be able to direct my own short film. Though people may not know it but I'm very anal sometimes if this is my vision, this is my vision. If you do not follow what I tell you to do, then I will not like you... that's me in a nut shell when it comes to projects like these. The reason why I didn't want to pitch my idea is that I do have a feeling no one wants to go deep and meaningful.

I loved everyone's ideas, I think they all have potential but I guess I don't want to be stuck under someone and following orders just yet, this is my time to be creative and I want to take charge! The Extreme Pillow Fight idea was funny the way they were talking about it and hey everyone wants to do something fun right? Same with the Chapel of evilness idea, that sock puppet twist is a hoot. If given a choice I don't see why people would want to work on something that's NOT fun.

Thing is, I like interaction. I like a sense of character, I like to be involved with a character and the story and be able to relate to it. Those are the movies that move me and stay in my mind forever, plus I'm a closet actor haha. So many shots, lines, dialogue, emotions are whirling around in my head right now and I just can't find the heart to put them on paper just yet. The idea is still brewing, I want this to be....'erfectly' flawed? lol

Alright so my idea is that we follow the main character (let's just say his name is Erik) and observe his day to day life. Three other characters play a major role, there's the bad, the nice and the stupid. That's what I mean by nothing ground breaking but there to set up the drama. Erik believes they are his friends but in reality they are merely manifestations due to his mental state. How he came to that state I'm still considering whether to put in there or not since after all this is a 5 minute film max.

I want there to be clues that these friends aren't real as the drama will unfold when Erik realises that. He doesn't know his own state of mind and this is where the inner conflict comes in. I'd love to go into details but I haven't set my heart on anything yet. Let's just call this a mindfuck film. Though I'm keeping in mind that given the 5 minutes there must be at least enough supporting clues, or visual cues to let the audience know what's going on.

I'm not gonna kid myself, this is a page of of my own life. It's one thing to deny it and another to admit you were once in that state of mind. Everyone thinks, everyone has conversations to themselves in their heads but maybe not to this extreme. And sometimes a particular trait of ours shine. It could be the mean one, it could be the nice one or it could be the stupid one but everyone has them. I honestly believe at some point in life we've all had that breakdown moment when these traits conflict to the point where we just physically and mentally shut down.

I guess the main thing is taking this story out of context to give that bit of spunk but I'm just not sure how that's doable for 5 minutes. I'll have to keep thinking. I just wish my brain would shut down now rather than at 9am in the morning sigh so need some sleep.