Today marks the awesome 10 year anniversary of the total awesomeness of my awesome parents leaving me to my awesome self. bitter much? nah not really, I think the sign of less QQ blogs made it that much clearer I don't give a fuck any more. *begin sarcasm* there's SOOOO many GREAT things I can say about MY parents *end*

And wow! it's been a while since my last blog. I've had all these thoughts I was going to rant about before but closed my dA to save my usual victims from another boring rant about my life. You know like watching these movies about family love, or love itself usually makes me an angry angry but sad person wanting to get it all out but there's just too much of it. But my fucked up childhood shines right about now. I cannot relate to anything people talk about at college, was much easier when I did art when there were other fked up people like me. Well that and the fact for someone who loves games I don't really play a lot of them, not anymore anyway.

Got another letter and photos of mum and Anja, seems like they're doing well as long as I know they're around I still have that shred of hope, maybe one day I'll get to see them again and even live with them in Denmark. How? no idea, Anja and I have an attachment to each other I can't explain, well for me it's because she's my real sister that much I know but mum refuses for me to tell her the truth. Sigh, why do I see this turning out bad... I still feel trapped as I feel I have an obligation to the Asian side of the family, I can only hope one day that crapness will be over.

I'm still here that's all it matter. My shrink tells me I've made improvements, then went on to point out that I haven't really changed but I've finally come to terms with all of this. She's still keeping the damn happy pill prescription tho, she has no faith in me lol. I don't see me as fucked up. In fact when I saw Eternal Sunshine of the Splotless mind I think we're all like Joel, we all have our secrets. That doesn't mean I'm going to act to fit in I'm not a concept, I'm just a fucked up guy looking for my own piece of mind.

Makes you wonder, is it more normal to analyse your own life and openly talk about it or is everyone else just crazy and pretends they live a happy life with no problems. Are we just scared no one gives a damn?